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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927935">The Moon Only Means So Much</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deevilise/pseuds/deevilise'>deevilise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Has a Crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Angst, Anxiety, Anxious Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Insomnia, It’s not that sad I promise, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Is So Done, Rating May Change, Strong Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Supportive Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, adrienette - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deevilise/pseuds/deevilise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Marinette’s mood changes like a lunar phase. She’s tired, the exhaustion within her is growing every day and tugging her further and further away from what she knows she needs.<br/>Something bright lingers above them both, Chang E’s child dances in the extensive sky, hugging Paris with welcoming arms. The moon lures him to sleep, but it was keeping her awake.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Moon Only Means So Much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>note: Chang E is the Chinese goddess of the moon.</p><p>(i don’t own miraculous ladybug duh obviously duh you get it blah blah)</p><p>hiii! thank you for reading! this is my first story on ao3, so I hope you enjoy! :))</p><p>btw i tried to keep it as canon as possible but you know how it goes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her feet, clad in the oh so usual ballet flats drag along the pavement, forcibly bringing her sluggish body across the street and towards the hellish high school.<br/> Much unlike her mind right now, the building was busy and buzzing with the energy of too many too late teens, recalling their Wednesdays with one another or seeking out their first class. </p>
<p>All this commotion so early in the morning never felt wrong to Marinette, but lately, it did. Lately, when she looked around, everything shone with an annoying, untamed luminescence. Lately, she found herself shielding her eyes from the mild daylight that spilled through the halls as though it were a rare and blinding solar eclipse. Lately, the casual chatter that stirred from every corner of this over-occupied city clamorously knocked at her clouded mind like the voices of worry did every time her head hit the pillow. Lately, the more they knocked, the harder it was to keep the doors closed, and the bolts just about broke every time. </p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, she pulls herself together. She quickly fixates her attention on the need to point her posture upright, in order to deceive the people around her. There was nothing they had to worry about anyway. </p>
<p>Even if just this simple effort to perfect her posture felt like running a marathon to Marinette’s body, even if plastering a small, content smile felt like crossing an ocean, she did it, though the constant fear of drowning could never be shaken off her upright shoulders. </p>
<p>She held back an exasperated groan as she entered the classroom and pleasantly made her way to her seat. </p>
<p>“Hey, girl! You’re only 3 minutes late today! Making progress I see?” Alya teased, elbowing her friend with a sly smile and a soft chuckle. Marinette rolled her eyes but giggled briefly at the antics of her wonderful best friend. </p>
<p>Adrien spun around in a totally too cool and nonchalant manner, and shot a friendly smile her way, a subtle greeting that made Marinette’s heart twitch. She frantically waved back as usual, although with a little less enthusiasm in the wave of her hand as the last time Adrien had greeted her.</p>
<p>“Thank you for joining us Marinette,” Ms. Bustier kindly greeted, obviously used to the teen’s tardiness. “I will be handing back your quizzes and then we will be going over a couple of places that seemed to be tricky. If you have any questions let me know!” </p>
<p>The class emerged in a subtle murmur and the room flooded with words of pride or disappointment, or ‘what did you get’s while she handed her students the papers. Marinette held no opinion on this event, however, as she always succeeded in this class and frankly was too tired today to be curious what the outcome of her work would be. </p>
<p>Eventually, the paper was slipped on the table in front of her. </p>
<p>86? </p>
<p>Marinette felt her face fall and her consciousness drawback, like it was cowering into a growing blanket of disappointment and hiding in its dread. She always did so well in this class, and she had never gotten less than a 90 from Ms. Bustier before. </p>
<p>She quickly snapped out of it, brushing off the blanket in order to keep her already fragile facade intact. Though the bad grade was causing it to crack, she could not let the exhaustion she’s tried so hard to repress seep out. </p>
<p>The rest of the day grew harder and harder and her ability to focus grew weaker, as her eyes began to droop and her mind began to pout. When the end of the day finally arrived, Marinette quietly made her journey back to the bakery, her thoughts drained of self-assurance, and her chest flooded with anxiety. </p>
<p>A small frown settled on her face as she stood on her balcony and lost herself in the shapes of the clouds in the overhead sky. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong, Marinette?” Tikki questioned. Her tone wasn’t any different than the usual cunning voice she sang her sweet encouragement with but sounded creamy and sweet with concern as if she had eaten one too many macaroons, and was becoming one herself. </p>
<p>Marinette sighed, resting her hand in her palm, accompanied by her elbow which now rested on the balcony railing. </p>
<p>“Nothing Tikki!” She smiled, unsure. “It’s just that I can’t help but be disappointed in myself for that grade,” Tikki flew to the opposite side to get a better look at her chosen’s face. Marinette closed her eyes, which were stinging with fatigue, and took a deep breath in. “It’s ok though because I will get myself together, work a little harder, and improve it for next time.” </p>
<p>She shrugged a small smile towards her small friend and temporarily pushed the mental wall of doubt to the side. The wall, which had been rising all day, was replaced with a new beam of courage and self-belief that she let herself soak in. She was Ladybug, after all.</p>
<p>Although she wasn’t sure what had caused this unfortunate academic setback, she was sure it was her fault and was assuming it most likely just another little mess her clumsiness had applied upon her. Marinette knew she was strong, she just had to put a little extra effort in and she was sure things would be fixed and back to normal as they do when she tosses her lucky charm up into the sky. </p>
<p>“That’s the spirit! I wouldn’t dwell on it if I were you, Marinette. Besides, Hawkmoth’s been so adamant lately, you can’t possibly expect yourself to do perfectly on everything! Especially considering your study time is spent saving Paris!” Marinette gave her a quiet giggle and gently cradled Tikki in her hand, raising the little creature to be hugged against her soft cheek. </p>
<p>                                                               ——————————————</p>
<p>“Pound it!” </p>
<p>Ladybug let out a long sigh of relief as she relished in the positive aftermath of her and Chat’s latest defeat. </p>
<p>“Well Bugaboo, if you ask me, this kitty deserves a nice pet after that fight… and maybe even a kiss between the whiskers while you’re at it?” Chat smirked, playfully using his pole as support while he tilted his cheek towards his lady. </p>
<p>She scoffed lightheartedly and shook her head, quickly giving her kitty a scratch behind the ears before sweetly announcing her departure with a “Bug out!”</p>
<p>Chat felt his heart deflate like a paper bag filled with air that had just been inhaled by an air sick possessor. The bag, or his heart, however, quickly returned to its swelled state as he smiled, gazing at his lady gracefully swinging away. </p>
<p>Though, he was confused why she had fled so fast, why she had been less receptive towards his jokes. It wasn’t unlike her to scold him playfully for his less than perfect comedic timing, but it was unlike her to simply ignore them altogether. </p>
<p>He decided she had a bad day and was not in the mood. He understood, and he felt a tiny string of sympathy for his lady tie around his chest and hug his lungs the way he wished he could hug ladybug. </p>
<p>But he’s sure she will be fine, she’s ladybug after all. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh!” Marinette groaned landing back in her bedroom, running her fragile hands down the length of her face, the face of which probably looks like it hasn’t had sleep in years.</p>
<p> That’s how she felt, anyway. Her body and her mind were so tired, but she couldn’t expect sleep to come tonight. </p>
<p>                                                                      ———————————-</p>
<p>The next day continued similarly, the world resuming its bright, busy, and boisterous antics which tugged at and rattled Marinette’s already messy and exhausted brain. <br/>Nonetheless, she was hard at work to make sure she could get her grade up and maybe even make up for the less than average mark she had gotten in Ms. Bustier’s class. </p>
<p>Simultaneously, she was being approached more and more by friends and peers when it came to all things ripped-sweaters and missing buttons. She wasn’t complaining, she loved helping people out like this, (and she had a disabling inability to say no), and the more she agreed, the more requests she got. Fashion was her passion after all, even if the dream she envisioned did not exactly consist of patching up broken pant legs and preparing tedious embroideries. </p>
<p>However depressing the handiwork was, Marinette reminded herself that she had to start somewhere. Even if it was not what she wanted, it would prepare her for the direction she longed to follow and the passion she yearned to pursue. She loved to design. Someone parading around in and expressing themselves through a piece of her art was a magical idea, and nothing else quite filled her heart with as much warmth. </p>
<p>Well, almost nothing. </p>
<p>“-ette? Marinette?” She woke with a flinch at the sound of Adrien’s buttery voice. She blinked repeatedly, finding herself sat straight up in a wooden library chair, and a curious blond with a hand on her shoulder (who must think she is undeniably crazy right now). The hand was grounding her as she tried to adjust to her surroundings. “Are you ok?”</p>
<p>“AH!” She exclaimed, jumping back in her chair, eyes that were just peaceful and asleep were now wide and her small hands gripped onto the wooden backrest in fear; Adrien’s awaiting gaze and soft smile had surely startled the newly awakened girl. </p>
<p>“Aaaaadrien!” She started awkwardly with a rather fake and exaggerated smile. “Haha yeah! I’m fine….” she bit onto her lip and released a small breath she was not aware had been sitting patiently in her chest.</p>
<p>“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you-“ he started, rubbing the back of his neck as per usual.</p>
<p> Even amid this sleepy daze, she noticed the golds and browns that playfully danced together amongst the locks that fell over his face were shining. The sun peeked through the windows, greeting its precious child with a pat on the head. Oh my- </p>
<p>She shook her head and came back to reality.</p>
<p>“It’s okay! Heh… what are doing there? I mean! What are you here? I mean... what um where here? Y-you’re here for where-“ His confused expression melted into a kindhearted smile that just barely exposed his perfect teeth and broke off her rambling.</p>
<p>“I was walking by and noticed you weren’t leaving to go to class so…” </p>
<p>“Class!?” She yelped. Had she fallen asleep? “Uh… T-thanks! I must’ve dozed off! Uhh.. heheh… ooops! Silly me! I uh um I well I was up all night doing the uHH assignment!” She averted her attention from the golden boy in front of her and started gathering her things in an attempt to hide her blushing cheeks. She also did not want to be any later to class than she was apparently already going to be. </p>
<p>Adrien let out a short and breathy laugh that seeped from Marinette’s ears and dripped directly into her heart. </p>
<p>“Sorry…” she mumbled, hiding beneath her bangs and biting back a small smile at the boy's gentle loveliness and beautiful glow that graced her presence in the moment. This was so embarrassing. </p>
<p>“No worries!” He smiled brightly, his eyes sinking into his cheeks in joy. He turned around to walk away, thinking fondly of his quirky, compelling friend and muttering hopeful affirmations that he would make it to class on time.</p>
<p>Marinette immediately slapped her hand against her face with a quiet groan of dread emitting from her mouth. </p>
<p>“Tikki!” She whispered, pointing her attention towards the purse her kwami’s little head was peeking out of. “How long was I out? How did I even fall asleep sitting up?!” Tikki giggled.</p>
<p>“Only a couple minutes, I promise! You are probably just tired from the busy week you’ve had, Marinette!” she cheerily reasoned. Marinette smiled half-heartedly before shaking her head back and forth rapidly in an attempt to wake herself up. “You should get to class, it’s Friday! Afterwards, you can go home and get a good night’s rest!” </p>
<p>Marinette patted her head gently and agreed, knowing fully well in her mind that that would probably not be happening. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sucking in a deep breath, her legs burned in a way that made her want nothing other than to drift back to sleep standing right there. Her arms felt full of sand and her eyes were still adjusting to the fluorescent lights lingering above her. She entered the classroom as quietly as she could. </p>
<p>“You’re 6 minutes late, Marinette,” the teacher instantly called. </p>
<p>“Errr… sorry, I lost track of time studying in the library.” She held her hands in front of her small figure, poking her pointer fingers together nervously. Well, she wasn’t necessarily telling a lie. </p>
<p>The teacher sighed unenthusiastically instructing her to take her seat. Adrien said nothing. </p>
<p>Alya was never surprised by her friend’s horrible relationship with time at this point but still had to give her teasing comments of course. </p>
<p>“I think you’re in the wrong class, Marinette…” she started in a hushed tone. Marinette raised her eyebrow as confusion spread across her flushed face. Alya giggled. “You should be in a time management class, not French history!” </p>
<p>Marinette still felt the tired sting that sat in her blue eyes while playfully rolling them at Alya’s teasing, despite the short nap just moments ago in the library.</p>
<p>“Whoa…” Alya whispered surprisingly, noticing her friend’s slowed motions and the way her face was painted with a tone she had never recognized on the pale girl before. </p>
<p>An emotion that Marinette could not quite identify was floating in Alya’s hazel eyes, confusing her further. “What?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Oh uh… nothing, you just look different today.” A tiny whirlwind of panic rose its way through her at the young jounralist’s observations. </p>
<p>“W-what do you mean?” She hoped she didn’t look bad or anything, the only thing missing from her hectic life was the matching costume. Marinette couldn’t afford to look a mess while playing the part too. </p>
<p>“I can’t quite put my finger on it…” she tapped at her chin. “Are you wearing a different makeup look today?!” she suggested, excited. Marinette awkwardly shook her head no. Alya shrugged with a hum as she calmly dropped it, turning her attention back towards the teacher with the small smile she always wore. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Marinette got home from school, she and Tikki were mutually relieved. The trip up the stairs felt extra long and treacherous, but a loud sigh left the mouths of both the girl and her kwami as she finally stepped inside and leaned against the apartment door.</p>
<p>Tikki poked her head out from the comfort she had snuggled into within Marinette’s blazer after she was given the ok from her chosen that the coast was clear. </p>
<p>“You should go take a nap, Marinette! You deserve it after that stressful week!” Her shrill voice claimed. Tikki hovered above the girl who was sauntering up yet another set of stairs and to her room. </p>
<p>Marinette’s knees ached and trembled with each step. She had never been injected with sedatives before, but right now she felt like a science experiment who’d been tranquilized and was being controlled by a remote. </p>
<p>Collapsing on her bed, she immediately felt the sleep tiptoeing its way towards her. For the first time all day, she was finally at peace and ready to let go of consciousness. Sweet sleep, mm what a soft pillow, so comfy and warm… dreams… three kids, a hamster, Adrien’s glowing green eyes- </p>
<p>Suddenly, her eyes were snapping open, her mind over alert, her heartbeat sprinting, and voice being suffocated by the breath enclosed in her throat. She quickly took her phone in her cold hands, uneasily searching through, searching and searching for a non-existent Akuma alert. </p>
<p>There was nothing, but the fear that there would be as soon as she were to nod off engulfed her entirely, wrapping it’s unforgiving arms around her; shaking, shaking, wake up, Marinette. <br/>But she was so tired. The only thing she wished for was to welcome the loving arms of sleep and shrug off these invasive ones of worry. </p>
<p>She shrunk into herself, hugging her knees to her chest, and gave up on the lingering idea. She spent a long time staring at the wall, her mind wasn’t asleep, but she knew this was as close as she would get for now. </p>
<p>Despite her failed attempts, she had hope in the nighttime. She figured the dusk would swallow those invasive arms, and her eyelids would fall swiftly as the night fell. It’s still daytime after all; tonight would be better.</p>
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